Hello, I'm new to your blog. I'm a girl who loves barebacking as well. The thing is I *really* worry about STDs so I find it difficult to do the bareback thing outside a relationship. How do you handle this?-Naive London Girl
This question has been sitting in my inbox for a while, and I've been trying to figure out how to best answer it, particularly since it's from another blogger that I love following.
*sigh* It's a tough one.
Believe me, I do really, truly, honestly worry about STDs. I do. The hate mail I get would make you think I'm out there spreading all kinds of cooties, but if all the hate mail I got were true, I'd be a rich, rich girl.
If you could ask any of my friends, they'd tell you I was almost psychic, or a mind reader. I wouldn't go that far, but I will admit, ok - brag, that I am an excellent judge of people. I can spot a liar from a mile away. So, I just flat out ask whether someone has anything I need to know about. I've told quite a few men that I didn't believe them when they told me they were clean, and walked away from them. If I've ever had any feeling at all that something was amiss, I go with it. Follow your gut instincts. I'd much rather miss out on an orgasm than miss out on life. Don't be afraid to change your mind at any point, even mid-nakedness.
Even though I don't post every single detail here, I do try to talk to my partners enough to get a good feel for them. This helps me weed out the liars. They're out there. Trust no one but yourself.
3 comments:
"S" above was "kind" enough to post some statistics, and then immediately delete them. Luckily, they get emailed to me, as well.
This is what s/he said:
Here are some statistics about HIV incidence in NYC.
http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/ah/ah.shtml
There's a 4% chance that a man in Manhattan is HIV+. Assuming that sex with an HIV+ man will result in transmission, you are safe 96% of the time after any single encounter. Suppose you have sex with N male partners that are selected from Manhattan. The probability that you won't get the virus is 1-(1-0.04)^N. This drops to 50% when N is about 17.
Of course, transmission doesn't always occur. Certain groups of people are less likely to be infected to start. One should get tested regularly. And uncommon good sense in interrogating a prospective partner further improves the safety in unsafe sex.
In the end we all make choices and live (and die) with those decisions. I hope you keep rolling the dice well.
Now, of those 4%, I'm willing to bet, without looking up statistics, that 75% or more of those do not fit my taste profile, which narrows my HIV risk to <1%.
That doesn't eliminate other STDs, but it does eliminate the deadliest one.
To hell with his statistics you are more than worth the risk.
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