M and I have talked on and off about having children. We both want them, some days very desperately right now, and other days it's a vague idea for sometime in the future. We obviously very much like the idea of breeding, but we're not really ready for the result. For this reason I've had an IUD for some time now.
Since bringing Miles into our life, the subject of breeding and pregnancy has been a heated topic for discussion. M and I rather like the idea of not being sure whether my child is his or not, yet knowing with certainty who would be the father if not M. The idea of breeding with Miles is very appealing. VERY. We've spent many nights in bed, the three of us, fucking and discussing it all at once. In the heat of the argument one evening, M threatened to remove the IUD himself.
The thought of being pregnant, my body swollen with child, my small breasts growing larger from the hormone surge and eventual milk... Oh God! Incredibly sexy.
But... a child. Giving up the life we live now. Will I feel less sexual? Will M (and Miles if he remains in the picture) still see me as the same sexual being I am now?
I really don't think I'm ready for that.
7 comments:
I don't have your lifestyle (although I wish I did) but I have to say having a child changes your life in so many ways and I think it would affect your current situation adversely.
It is very hot to think about breeding and not knowing which one of those men is the father. Let me know if you go through with it one day. Very hot! You are very hot. Love reading your blog.
I assure you swelling, hormones, eventual milk and childbirth although beautiful, will not leave you feeling sexy. You will temporarily lose your sex drive and children take too much time away from swinging.
You may change your entire outlook on life and people if you have a child and most certainly would want to know the father for the child's sake, especially when the begin to ask questions. You might want to wait and continue being carefree until you're ready for all of it and more.
i'm with A. my poor husband was completely cut-off for the first six-months after delivery. i was absolutely mortified of getting pregnant immediately after evicting the latest tenant.
your entire physiology changes with, and after, children. i wouldn't trade my kids for ANYTHING, but i do sometimes wish i'd waited a bit longer. othertimes i wish i'd started sooner, or had them closer together. *shrug* oh, and back to the physiology....my rib cage expanded, my hips expanded, and after weaning my boobs shrank disproportionately. and i lost half my brain--completely (figuratively speaking of course).
regardless of WHAT you do, you'll always have woulda-coulda-shouldas. just remember, when you do have kids, EVERYTHING you do will have an effect on them and everything they do will have an effect on you. it's a lifetime commitment and very much one of those 'go big or go home' type things. i've been told that having dogs is similar to having children and they're a great "test round" for folks that aren't sure if they want kids or not. *shrug*
y'all will figure out what is best for your family. doesn't matter what the rest of us say or do.
I like you blog and have followed you for a while, but I must say, your last sentence says it all:
"I really don't think I'm ready for that."
Despite various passages to the contrary in your recent posts, I'm glad to hear you say this.
Please do not have a child (anyone's) for the simple lark of "breeding", or the mystery fetish of who is the father. There are already too many children artificially handicapped by incomplete families.
Please be ready and 100% committed to child-bearing and child-raising. It's not a fad... it's a lifelong commitment.
I offer this only because Cindy and I have been considering a family. It's not a light undertaking.
Mike
Just found your blog. Hope it will give us some good ideas over the next 25 days ;)
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